You know you're a Chemist when...

[Mitch]

Please add some more to the list.

You know you're a Chemist when...

... The Mercedes symbol looks like an eclipsed conformation.
... The first thing you reach for in the morning are your prescription goggles
... Chem Keg is the only social event you participate in.
... All your shirts have holes.
... All your scars are not from bar fights but from chemical burns.
... Someone offers you acid, but its not what you expected.
... Describing sexual positions you use SN1, SN2 and all your friends know what you are talking about. (Theoritically)
... Your kids ask you how Santa fits through a small chimney you reply, "Duh, tunneling effect."
... You buy a sleeping bag but its not for camping trips.
... You BBQ with the bunsen burner.
... You say its the size that matters, but you're really talking about molecular radii.
...

[Will]

...you draw the structure of drugs on their drug packets
...you have blisters from playing with your molecular model kit
...you are fed up of people saying alcohol, when they mean ethanol
...you really want to know where to get those subscription goggles :geek: (in UK)- seriously!
...you think people are lazy for calling 1,3,7-trimethyl-1H-purine-2,6(3H,7H)-dione (or 1,3,7-trimethylxanthine) caffeine
...you outsmart your chemistry teachers
...you spend all your pocket money on organic chemistry books
...you get a degree in chemistry!

[2810713]

Cool...


-when u propose somebody like'' hey would you adsorb to me???''
-when u realize that your capacity to do useful work is going on reducing and reducing... And its normal:Lighten:
-When you tend to say  '' my exam scores are like pH''[ less the score more the knowledge!!!]

Shrei

[ATMyller]

...you understand these jokes and laughed at 'em.

[jdurg]

...you collect chemicals as a hobby.
...you hear the word 'Molar' and teeth are the last thing on your mind.
...you habitually wash your hands BEFORE and AFTER using the restroom.
...you personally know what 'Nitric Acid acts upon' means.
...when someone says 'sodium' you don't think about salt, but you think about a clay-like metal that goes well with a big lake.
 

[buckminsterfullerene]

...you write the nomeclature of organic chemicals that are shown in your textbook with their common name
...you use stoichiometry for all the in real life
...you try to visualize what chemical reaction is being carried when you make chocolate milk
...you can name atleast 3 important chemists and explain thoroughly some of their work experience
...you see the nomeclature of a complex organic compound and take it as a challenge to write the structure, and actually like it
...you know what saline water is composed of

[noname]

...you hear "order-form" and think of organic compounds.

[Alberto_Kravina]

you hear "ABS" and you think about acrylnitril-butadiene-styrol copolymer instead of anti-lock breaking system.

[Bakegaku]

You hear "AC" and think "actinium" instead of "air-conditioning"

you correct people's trivial errors on the humour forum.

I.E.

http://www.chemicalforums.com/index.php?topic=7898.0

http://www.chemicalforums.com/index.php?topic=7865.0

Hah, sorry if the victims of this post are offended (but I hope you'll have enough humour...) 

[Albert]

...you realize your mostly visited site is not a pornographic one: it's ChemicalForums.com.

[jdurg]

....When you read an aerosol disinfectant's ingredients, you understand the ingredients, you can pronounce the ingredients, and you know the structures of the ingredients.

[pantone159]

....When you read an aerosol disinfectant's ingredients, you understand the ingredients, you can pronounce the ingredients, and you know the structures of the ingredients.

....And when you do that, you know another name for these ingredients, and recognize this as a chemical that you wanted, but hadn't found a source for yet.  Benzalkonium chloride is on my want list somewhere.

[Bakegaku]

when you contend with a healthnut that's trying to tell you that "organic" things are good to eat and "inorganic" things are bad to eat by telling them that while things like beef steroids are organic, oxygen and water are inorganic. 

[Alberto_Kravina]

....if you forget to do your maths homework because the evening before you were reading an organic chemistry book (what happened to me today, fortunately the maths professor didn't notice it... )

[Will]

....if you forget to do your maths homework because the evening before you were reading an organic chemistry book (what happened to me today, fortunately the maths professor didn't notice it... )

that happens to me almost every fortnight (except more often with economics homework, and not just any organic chem book, but the Clayden, Greeves, Warren and Wothers one)!

[Donaldson Tan]

I love this thread. I was happily reading my organic chemistry notes during the boring heat transfer lecture last year.

[rctrackstar2007]

...if you look at the world as i do and as i have posted in my sig...

[Will]

The world is like an atom. The not-quite-as-intelligent people are the nucleus all packed together sharing a common...everything. We, we are the electrons. Granted we're not as smart as these engineers and what-not so we're most likely in the first orbital, but we're the electrons of this giant atom. We all have differing intelligences and ideas and we are separated from the nucleus which makes us better because no one really cares about how a nucleus acts. It's the electrons that make chemistry, except for nuclear chem, of course, which I am a big fan of.

Vey nice!
I think I'd be in a g-orbital!
(But the electrons require the nucleus to hold the electrons in orbit otherwise we'd all fly off- imagine where we would be without the nucleus!)

[limpet chicken]

I would compare myself to astatine, hehe, quite volatile, (although unlike At, not smelly), very active, somwaht dark (my sense of humor) and likely to be short lived, due to my ahem..accident prone-ness in the lab

[rctrackstar2007]

The world is like an atom. The not-quite-as-intelligent people are the nucleus all packed together sharing a common...everything. We, we are the electrons. Granted we're not as smart as these engineers and what-not so we're most likely in the first orbital, but we're the electrons of this giant atom. We all have differing intelligences and ideas and we are separated from the nucleus which makes us better because no one really cares about how a nucleus acts. It's the electrons that make chemistry, except for nuclear chem, of course, which I am a big fan of.

Vey nice!
I think I'd be in a g-orbital!
(But the electrons require the nucleus to hold the electrons in orbit otherwise we'd all fly off- imagine where we would be without the nucleus!)

thusly we need society in a little part. the people that lock themselves in their basement and never see light of day or other people would be those free floating electrons

[Will]

...you stare at a beehive-like hexagonal pavement and name all the fused benzene ring compounds (except corannulene) in your head.

[FeLiXe]

... you hear that someone had a bicycle crash and you think that he couldn't handle working with Naphthalene

(I came up with that one because I was kind of bored riding my bike home yesterday)

[Equi]

... when you have problems writing GRE general test issue task essays about art - ewwwww.

If I have to work through any more reading comprehension about the amercian civil war, I gonna explode...

[constant thinker]

...you outsmart your chemistry teachers

That one is me this year.

[Playerbeta]

...You try to think of the atomic models whenever you see some new stuff
...You say chemical formula instead of the name of a substance, for instance water, H2O
::Edited: Just Because~Mitch::
...You can answer all questions in this forum, lol

[dfx-]

....When you read an aerosol disinfectant's ingredients, you understand the ingredients, you can pronounce the ingredients, and you know the structures of the ingredients.

.....and when you're asked to pronounce them, why they use them and to summarise only the important ones by other people.


And you can.

[Albert]

During a boring dinner at the restaurant, you stare at the bottle of water and begin to wonder how you would separate all those ions.

[pantone159]

When a friend offers you a glass of amaretto after dinner, you have a sip and say "Ahh, Benzaldehyde..."

[ATMyller]

When a friend offers you a glass of amaretto after dinner, you have a sip and say "Ahh, Benzaldehyde..."

Of refer drinking any alcoholic drink as a hydroxyl group analysis.

[ladygnat]

...you look at a hexagonal-shaped cookie and think of cyclohexane, not a hexagon.  (happened to me today....took me a bit to think of hexagonal rather than cyclohexane-like)
...you look up the structures of the medicine you take and it reminds you very strongly of what you're doing in class now...
...I and Me can be iodine and methyl when read...
...OH is a hydroxy group, not Ohio (and I even live in Ohio)

[UnintentionalChaos]

...If you're ever read the back of "Clorox Anywhere Hard Surface Cleaner" and nearly pissed yourself at what that company is getting away with....Then you proceed to offer to make the next bottle up "on the house."

...You buy large quantities of aspirin, not because you have a headache or want to avoid heart attacks, but because you want to experiment with it as a ligand and decompose it into salicylic acid for further experiments.

...Your mother has purchased you a lab coat in a failed attempt to keep you from dissolving your entire wardrobe.

...You have ever asked for a condenser for your birthday....ground glass joints of course.

...You can pronounce and explain the function of most of the ingredients on the back of an average shampoo bottle (okay, the ones you can't explain the function of are just marketing tools and you recognize them as such).

[?*?]

the stick figures you draw are carbon and not people

[Woofuls]

... when you are humming "dilution is the solution to pollution" while looking at a sink or urinal.

[burnt]

...when you look at yourself in the mirror and you say "damn I'm chiral!"
...when you say you are exothermic when you have fiever.
...when "hey baby we've got chemistry" makes you laugh.
...when you think at G point as an excitation state.
...

burnt

[Water Snake]

when,,,,
-you put a vodka shot in a 100 ml beaker
-you use two stirring rod as a chop stick
-you use the magnetic stirrer as a mixer for your drinks
-you use the chemostat as an aquarium
-you use the fume hood as a closet
-you use term table sugar as sucrose and you call common table salt as sodium chloride in the kitchen

[IITian]

when-

-Someone says, "I love U" & you think they are talking of Uranium!
-you use coke not for drinking, but for cleaning pennies

[agrobert]

you clear your sinuses with TFA

[Alpha-Omega]

When you engineer your own nitrous system for your 2002 WS6 Ram Air Trans AM (Anniversary Edition-Last of the Birds) and she rocks/kicks at 450 HP on the DYNA...Bad Ass Toys Ain't Just For Boyz!!!!!!!!!!!!

[redskytonight820]

When... someone asks you how much sauce they should add to the mix, and you tell them - about 5 mils. hehe. When any measurements you make are in the SI system.

[christina]

-when you need your glasses adjusted and you tell someone your getting your glasses calibrated

[TaSt3MyRa1nBoW]

....you ACTUALLY laugh at the PERFECT contraceptive joke made by Borek (no offense), or better yet, critique it for its structure. (see below)

"For men. This is no fun. Derivatives of nitrosobenzene show such properties.
But what about toxicity?" http://www.chemicalforums.com/index.php?topic=25430.0

[TaSt3MyRa1nBoW]

you ACTUALLY CHUCKLE to yourself *coughOAcough*, and giggle hysterically while making a chemicalforums dis, and while writing these replies
*~*YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE*~*
         

[shelanachium]

You see the word 'periodic' and it is an iodine compound.

You see the word 'unionised' and it has nothing to do with labour unions.

You recite the whole periodic table and nobody asks 'How do we know you got it right?'

[redskytonight820]

When someone asks for a calculator, you whip out the trusty old TI-89, and think it's perfectly normal whilst everyone's go their mouths agape.

[Chmlover]

...after you kissed somebody and have said that your only attracted to them because of hydrogen bonding....

[complex]

similar to chmlover in some ways...

...you make a bonding theory for people using chemical bond types (just did this yesterday).  (ie the people who are friends, different personalities, are hydrogen bonding; ionic bonds are those lovers with opposite personalities; covalent bonds are the more partner-like couples or friends; etc I went off to polar and polar covalent too...)

...you see something and you can make a chemistry-related joke about it.

...you think the most hilarious question to ask a person is what their bonding type is because it sounds like such a come on or else it's the most hilarious pick-up line you've ever heard (well, you know the other chemistry ones, they're quite amusing too )

...you've told someone that you've wondered what a molecule's perspective would be and someone looks at you like o.O  Really...wouldn't a molecule consider the human body the universe just as we consider the universe the universe? If it could be conscious?

...your sense of humor goes *downhill* as you progress.

[AccordionGirl]

One of my good friends is an artist, and she always has paint on her clothes. Spying a bluish stain on my shirt, she asks, "been painting?" "Nope," I say, "copper chloride."

But, I think the day I really realized I was a Chemnerd was when a cosmetics saleswoman came to our door. She whips out a ph chart and says "did you know, your face has a ph of 6, but most makeup has a ph of 8?" My response was "NO WAY! It's like a great big eyeshadowy titration on my face!"
She was confused.

[Gerard]

....you drink in a beaker
....you use a stirring rod as a chop stick
....you use H2O to term water
....your dog name is sodium hydroxide
....you wake up wearing a lab gown

[lunar eclipse]

You have a structure of a chemical compound tattooed on yourself.  (Yes, I know somebody personally who had the chemical structure of caffeine tattooed on himself)