Chemical Forums
General Forums => Generic Discussion => Topic started by: Tiger on January 06, 2005, 04:08:34 AM
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Get your mind off Chemistry and laugh :1eye: :1eye: :1eye:
1/ I won't tell you how much I weigh, but don't get on the elevator with me unless you're going down.--Jack Leonard.
2/ Let me put it this way. According to my girth, I should be a ninety-foot redwood.
3/ I hate skinny women, especially when they say things like, "Sometimes I forget to eat." Now, I've forgotten my mother's maiden name...I've forgotten my car keys...but you've got to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat.--Marsha Warfield.
4/ I have flabby thighs, but fortunately, my stomach covers them.--Joan Rivers
5/ Why am I bothering to eat this chocolate? Imight as well just apply it directly to my thighs. --Rhoda Morgenstern
6/ I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the kind you get in a diamond. --Mae West
7/ Inside me there's a thin person struggling to get out, but I can usually sedate him with four or five cupcakes.--Bob Thaves
8/ Everyday I eat from the four basic food groups: milk chocolate, dark chocolate, white chocolate, and cocoa
9/ I went on a diet. Had to go on two diets at the same time 'cause one diet wasn't giving me enough food.
10/ I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. --Joe Lewis
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Most guys would brag about number 2
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Those are all food jokes.
Not one lousy blonde joke in the list! ???
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:) Well, I don't have any blonde jokes. :)
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Well, add this to your repertoire.
A blonde in the third grade went home one day and told her mom:
Mommy, today we got to count numbers and I got to count to 20, more than anyone. Is that because I'm a blonde?
Yes dear, that is so.
The next day,
Mommy, Today we got to recite the alphabet and I recited higher than anyone else. Is that because I'm blonde?
Yes, that's so.
Next day,
Mommy, today the kids were making fun of my chest. Is that because I'm blonde?
And mom said,
No dear, that's because you're 23 years old.
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What's the best way to kill a blonde?
Put a mirror in the bottom of an acid bath ;D
Why did the blonde cross over the river?
To ask for directions how to get to the other side.
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How do you know your brunette landscaper is really a blond?
The bush in front is a different color. :o
How do you know the blond girl's boyfriend is also blonde?
She has bruises all around her belly button. ;)
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i like the male blonde joke