Chemical Forums
General Forums => Generic Discussion => Topic started by: Tiger on January 07, 2005, 02:06:09 AM
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1/
Patient: When I touch my tongue to aluminum foil wrapped around a walnut while holding a toaster oven, I feel a peculiar tingling in my toes...What's wrong with me, doctor?
Doctor: You have too much spare time
2/
"Doctor, Doctor, you've got to help me! I just can't stop my hands from shaking!"
"Do you drink a lot?"
"Not really. I spill most of it!"
3/
A man with a worried look on his face ran into a clinic and asked the doctor if he knew a way to stop the hiccups. Without any warning, the doctor slapped him in the face. Amazed and angry, the young man demanded that the doctor explain his unusual behaviour.
"Well," said the doctor, "you don't have the hiccups now, do you?"
"No," answered the young man, "but my wife out in the car still does!"
4/
A ninety-year-old man went ot his doctor and said,, "Doctor, my wife--who is eighteen--is expecting a baby."
The doctor said, "Let me tell you a story. A man went hunting, but instead of his gun, he picked up an umbrella by mistake. And when a bear suddenly charged at him, he pointed his umbrella at the bear, shot, and killed it on the spot."
"Impossible. Somebody else must have shot that bear."
"Exactly my point"
5/
A while back, my neighbor was telling me that his entire body hurt. To demonstrate he took his finger and began to press on various parts of his body. He poked his ribs and said, "This hurts."
He pressed his arm and said, "Ouch! That hurts too."
He pressed his foot and said, "It even hurts if I press down here on my foot."
I told him to see a doctor. He did. Turns out he had a broken finger.
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I like 1 and 5 the best. :D
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I think I like number 5 because it's cute :)
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I like 2 and 4. :drunk:
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(4) is the best
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TOTALLY #4! I even told it to my roommate, and SHE laughed! She NEVER laughs at my jokes :P