Chemical Forums
General Forums => Generic Discussion => Topic started by: Mitch on January 10, 2006, 07:17:15 PM
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Please add some more to the list.
You know you're a Chemist when...
... The Mercedes symbol looks like an eclipsed conformation.
... The first thing you reach for in the morning are your prescription goggles
... Chem Keg is the only social event you participate in.
... All your shirts have holes.
... All your scars are not from bar fights but from chemical burns.
... Someone offers you acid, but its not what you expected.
... Describing sexual positions you use SN1, SN2 and all your friends know what you are talking about. (Theoritically)
... Your kids ask you how Santa fits through a small chimney you reply, "Duh, tunneling effect."
... You buy a sleeping bag but its not for camping trips.
... You BBQ with the bunsen burner.
... You say its the size that matters, but you're really talking about molecular radii.
...
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...you draw the structure of drugs on their drug packets
...you have blisters from playing with your molecular model kit
...you are fed up of people saying alcohol, when they mean ethanol
...you really want to know where to get those subscription goggles :geek: (in UK)- seriously!
...you think people are lazy for calling 1,3,7-trimethyl-1H-purine-2,6(3H,7H)-dione (or 1,3,7-trimethylxanthine) caffeine
...you outsmart your chemistry teachers
...you spend all your pocket money on organic chemistry books
...you get a degree in chemistry! ;D
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Cool...
-when u propose somebody like'' hey would you adsorb to me???'' ;)
-when u realize that your capacity to do useful work is going on reducing and reducing... And its normal:Lighten:
-When you tend to say '' my exam scores are like pH''[ less the score more the knowledge!!!]
Shrei
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...you understand these jokes and laughed at 'em.
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...you collect chemicals as a hobby.
...you hear the word 'Molar' and teeth are the last thing on your mind.
...you habitually wash your hands BEFORE and AFTER using the restroom.
...you personally know what 'Nitric Acid acts upon' means.
...when someone says 'sodium' you don't think about salt, but you think about a clay-like metal that goes well with a big lake.
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...you write the nomeclature of organic chemicals that are shown in your textbook with their common name
...you use stoichiometry for all the in real life
...you try to visualize what chemical reaction is being carried when you make chocolate milk
...you can name atleast 3 important chemists and explain thoroughly some of their work experience
...you see the nomeclature of a complex organic compound and take it as a challenge to write the structure, and actually like it
...you know what saline water is composed of
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...you hear "order-form" and think of organic compounds.
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you hear "ABS" and you think about acrylnitril-butadiene-styrol copolymer instead of anti-lock breaking system.
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You hear "AC" and think "actinium" instead of "air-conditioning"
you correct people's trivial errors on the humour forum.
I.E.
http://www.chemicalforums.com/index.php?topic=7898.0
http://www.chemicalforums.com/index.php?topic=7865.0
Hah, sorry if the victims of this post are offended (but I hope you'll have enough humour...) ;D
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...you realize your mostly visited site is not a pornographic one: it's ChemicalForums.com.
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....When you read an aerosol disinfectant's ingredients, you understand the ingredients, you can pronounce the ingredients, and you know the structures of the ingredients.
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....When you read an aerosol disinfectant's ingredients, you understand the ingredients, you can pronounce the ingredients, and you know the structures of the ingredients.
....And when you do that, you know another name for these ingredients, and recognize this as a chemical that you wanted, but hadn't found a source for yet. Benzalkonium chloride is on my want list somewhere.
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when you contend with a healthnut that's trying to tell you that "organic" things are good to eat and "inorganic" things are bad to eat by telling them that while things like beef steroids are organic, oxygen and water are inorganic.
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....if you forget to do your maths homework because the evening before you were reading an organic chemistry book (what happened to me today, fortunately the maths professor didn't notice it... ;D )
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....if you forget to do your maths homework because the evening before you were reading an organic chemistry book (what happened to me today, fortunately the maths professor didn't notice it... ;D )
that happens to me almost every fortnight (except more often with economics homework, and not just any organic chem book, but the Clayden, Greeves, Warren and Wothers one)!
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I love this thread. I was happily reading my organic chemistry notes during the boring heat transfer lecture last year.
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...if you look at the world as i do and as i have posted in my sig...
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The world is like an atom. The not-quite-as-intelligent people are the nucleus all packed together sharing a common...everything. We, we are the electrons. Granted we're not as smart as these engineers and what-not so we're most likely in the first orbital, but we're the electrons of this giant atom. We all have differing intelligences and ideas and we are separated from the nucleus which makes us better because no one really cares about how a nucleus acts. It's the electrons that make chemistry, except for nuclear chem, of course, which I am a big fan of.
Vey nice!
I think I'd be in a g-orbital!
(But the electrons require the nucleus to hold the electrons in orbit otherwise we'd all fly off- imagine where we would be without the nucleus!)
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I would compare myself to astatine, hehe, quite volatile, (although unlike At, not smelly), very active, somwaht dark (my sense of humor) and likely to be short lived, due to my ahem..accident prone-ness in the lab ;D
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The world is like an atom. The not-quite-as-intelligent people are the nucleus all packed together sharing a common...everything. We, we are the electrons. Granted we're not as smart as these engineers and what-not so we're most likely in the first orbital, but we're the electrons of this giant atom. We all have differing intelligences and ideas and we are separated from the nucleus which makes us better because no one really cares about how a nucleus acts. It's the electrons that make chemistry, except for nuclear chem, of course, which I am a big fan of.
Vey nice!
I think I'd be in a g-orbital!
(But the electrons require the nucleus to hold the electrons in orbit otherwise we'd all fly off- imagine where we would be without the nucleus!)
thusly we need society in a little part. the people that lock themselves in their basement and never see light of day or other people would be those free floating electrons
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...you stare at a beehive-like hexagonal pavement and name all the fused benzene ring compounds (except corannulene) in your head.
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... you hear that someone had a bicycle crash and you think that he couldn't handle working with Naphthalene
(I came up with that one because I was kind of bored riding my bike home yesterday)
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... when you have problems writing GRE general test issue task essays about art - ewwwww.
If I have to work through any more reading comprehension about the amercian civil war, I gonna explode...
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...you outsmart your chemistry teachers
That one is me this year.
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...You try to think of the atomic models whenever you see some new stuff
...You say chemical formula instead of the name of a substance, for instance water, H2O
::Edited: Just Because~Mitch::
...You can answer all questions in this forum, lol
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....When you read an aerosol disinfectant's ingredients, you understand the ingredients, you can pronounce the ingredients, and you know the structures of the ingredients.
..and when you're asked to pronounce them, why they use them and to summarise only the important ones by other people.
And you can.
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During a boring dinner at the restaurant, you stare at the bottle of water and begin to wonder how you would separate all those ions.
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When a friend offers you a glass of amaretto after dinner, you have a sip and say "Ahh, Benzaldehyde..."
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When a friend offers you a glass of amaretto after dinner, you have a sip and say "Ahh, Benzaldehyde..."
Of refer drinking any alcoholic drink as a hydroxyl group analysis.
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...you look at a hexagonal-shaped cookie and think of cyclohexane, not a hexagon. (happened to me today....took me a bit to think of hexagonal rather than cyclohexane-like)
...you look up the structures of the medicine you take and it reminds you very strongly of what you're doing in class now...
...I and Me can be iodine and methyl when read...
...OH is a hydroxy group, not Ohio (and I even live in Ohio)
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...If you're ever read the back of "Clorox Anywhere Hard Surface Cleaner" and nearly pissed yourself at what that company is getting away with....Then you proceed to offer to make the next bottle up "on the house."
...You buy large quantities of aspirin, not because you have a headache or want to avoid heart attacks, but because you want to experiment with it as a ligand and decompose it into salicylic acid for further experiments.
...Your mother has purchased you a lab coat in a failed attempt to keep you from dissolving your entire wardrobe.
...You have ever asked for a condenser for your birthday....ground glass joints of course.
...You can pronounce and explain the function of most of the ingredients on the back of an average shampoo bottle (okay, the ones you can't explain the function of are just marketing tools and you recognize them as such).
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the stick figures you draw are carbon and not people
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... when you are humming "dilution is the solution to pollution" while looking at a sink or urinal.
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...when you look at yourself in the mirror and you say "damn I'm chiral!"
...when you say you are exothermic when you have fiever.
...when "hey baby we've got chemistry" makes you laugh.
...when you think at G point as an excitation state.
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burnt
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when,,,,
-you put a vodka shot in a 100 ml beaker
-you use two stirring rod as a chop stick
-you use the magnetic stirrer as a mixer for your drinks
-you use the chemostat as an aquarium
-you use the fume hood as a closet
-you use term table sugar as sucrose and you call common table salt as sodium chloride in the kitchen
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when-
-Someone says, "I love U" & you think they are talking of Uranium!
-you use coke not for drinking, but for cleaning pennies
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you clear your sinuses with TFA
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When you engineer your own nitrous system for your 2002 WS6 Ram Air Trans AM (Anniversary Edition-Last of the Birds) and she rocks/kicks at 450 HP on the DYNA...Bad Ass Toys Ain't Just For Boyz!!!!!!!!!!!!
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When... someone asks you how much sauce they should add to the mix, and you tell them - about 5 mils. hehe. When any measurements you make are in the SI system.
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-when you need your glasses adjusted and you tell someone your getting your glasses calibrated
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....you ACTUALLY laugh at the PERFECT contraceptive joke made by Borek (no offense), or better yet, critique it for its structure. (see below)
"For men. This is no fun. Derivatives of nitrosobenzene show such properties.
But what about toxicity?" http://www.chemicalforums.com/index.php?topic=25430.0
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you ACTUALLY CHUCKLE to yourself *coughOAcough*, and giggle hysterically while making a chemicalforums dis, and while writing these replies
*~*YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE*~*
;D
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You see the word 'periodic' and it is an iodine compound.
You see the word 'unionised' and it has nothing to do with labour unions.
You recite the whole periodic table and nobody asks 'How do we know you got it right?'
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When someone asks for a calculator, you whip out the trusty old TI-89, and think it's perfectly normal whilst everyone's go their mouths agape.
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...after you kissed somebody and have said that your only attracted to them because of hydrogen bonding....
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similar to chmlover in some ways...
...you make a bonding theory for people using chemical bond types (just did this yesterday). (ie the people who are friends, different personalities, are hydrogen bonding; ionic bonds are those lovers with opposite personalities; covalent bonds are the more partner-like couples or friends; etc :P I went off to polar and polar covalent too...)
...you see something and you can make a chemistry-related joke about it.
...you think the most hilarious question to ask a person is what their bonding type is because it sounds like such a come on or else it's the most hilarious pick-up line you've ever heard (well, you know the other chemistry ones, they're quite amusing too ;) )
...you've told someone that you've wondered what a molecule's perspective would be and someone looks at you like o.O Really...wouldn't a molecule consider the human body the universe just as we consider the universe the universe? If it could be conscious?
...your sense of humor goes *downhill* as you progress.
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One of my good friends is an artist, and she always has paint on her clothes. Spying a bluish stain on my shirt, she asks, "been painting?" "Nope," I say, "copper chloride."
But, I think the day I really realized I was a Chemnerd was when a cosmetics saleswoman came to our door. She whips out a ph chart and says "did you know, your face has a ph of 6, but most makeup has a ph of 8?" My response was "NO WAY! It's like a great big eyeshadowy titration on my face!"
She was confused.
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....you drink in a beaker
....you use a stirring rod as a chop stick
....you use H2O to term water
....your dog name is sodium hydroxide
....you wake up wearing a lab gown
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You have a structure of a chemical compound tattooed on yourself. (Yes, I know somebody personally who had the chemical structure of caffeine tattooed on himself)
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. you watch the anime Full Metal Alchemist just for the references to chemistry ;D
I used to do that :P
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...you can't help but wonder why people moan about a couple of moles in their gardens, when you have a billion gazillion moles in your own.
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When your degree says it? hmm, that was not very funny was it...oops...
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When you buy a T-shirt with the periodic table on it... :-X
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When you get a half chub when you realize your compound is 84% nitrogen.
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...while reading other people's posts, you were like "O.o.. OMG!! That's so true!!! I do that all the time!!!!!" :P
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... when you can fully understand the chemistry jokes... :)
Q: What is the chemical formula for the molecules in candy?
A: Carbon-Holmium-Cobalt-Lanthanum-Tellurium or CHoCoLaTe
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... you wonder why nobody realized Walter White in Breaking Bad was obviously bullshitting/obfuscating when he was discussing the chiral properties of different carbon positions - but in decongestants - in Season 4 Episode 1 - when they've been using a P2P/methylamine based synthesis ever since before season 2 started - and obviously still are, considering all the acetic acid around, not to mention the aluminum foil.
oh nevermind, a quick google check reveals that a week later, I'm not the only one that noticed this after all: http://weakinteractions.wordpress.com/2011/07/20/the-science-of-breaking-bad-box-cutter/#more-1725 LOL
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When you spend hours in the cleaning supply aisle of your local walmart, reading the backs of cleaning chemicals, and understanding each and every ingredient.
When you compare people you know to elements
When you see Benzene in every hexagon structure with a picture in the center.
When you join a chemistry forum
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when you complain about tv shows/ films because of incorrect chemistry
when can think 'theres so many homos in science' without refering to homosexuality
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I Googled Sugar Day (which I didn't find ANY hits about) and came across this Chemistry forum. It occurred to me yesterday that I had missed a date which could have been called Sugar Day -- December 22, 2011 -- for Sucrose which is CHO 12 22 11. I wondered why it hadn't occurred to any one else especially since it'll never happen again.
I am a semi retired truck driver but was, years ago, a Chemistry major at Penn State and worked for a time in a lab for a company specializing in veterinary pharmaceuticals. I've never lost my interest in the Sciences and am frequently amused or appalled at how much is not understood by so many. For instance, I cringe whenever I hear people talk about Oxygen exploding. How can it explode? It doesn't burn!
And then there's the "Electron Energized Negatively Charged Water" that's an expensive panacea for everything that ails you. They're getting away with advertising this new "Snake Oil."
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-When your mother asks you to clean your room, you recite the second law of thermodynamics. "Who am I to go against the laws of science?"
-You think optimists and pessimists have it all wrong because the glass is not half-full or half-empty. It is always full, half in the gaseous state and half in the liquid state.
-When you use ethanol for your experiments more than you use it for drinking.
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When you hear "chemical free" anything advertised and want to physically assault your television or radio. Also, the "Electron Energized Negatively Charged Water" and "aqua titanium energy bands" type things make me twitch too. Or those pads they used to sell that were supposed to suck every known toxin out through your feet. I remember the ads specifically mentioning that they remove Thulium. Seriously? Thulium?
However, as for 'nail on the head' identifiers of chemists, I think it it was Asimov who got it the best when he said you can immediately tell a chemist because they will pronounce "unionized" with four syllables and if you ask them to explain it, will not mention organized labor even once.
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When a kid asks you "How is soap made?", you go on an hour long lecture explaining saponification.
When a kid asks you "Why is the sky blue?", you go on another lecture describing the scattering of light, and how ozone is blue and is encasing the earth.
I'm out.
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- Every time you see a stop sign, you shout, "Cyclooctane!"
- You accidentally called your dog Benji "Benzene."
- When you saw the Red & Black headline about that weird UGA student, Ioulia Zaitseva, the first thing you thought was, "Hey, Zaitseva—like Zaitsev's rule!"
- You can draw some of the compounds listed on your shampoo bottle.
- It's becoming all too common that when you write the word "chemistry," you start it with CH3.
- To be politically correct, you've started referring to fat people as "sterically hindered."
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This one happened to me:
you talk with your friends about the difficult separation you've just had, and everybody knows you talk about a column chromatography ;D
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-You go to a dating site (Because you're a nerd, and that's the only way you can meet chicks) and think of actual chemistry when you see people use the word chemistry.
-You refer to flavors and essential oils with their chemical name
-The lady at the scented candle shop knows you as the guy who buys all the pure essential oils
-You use the equilibrium calculation to calculate your odds of picking up a chick in a club or bar. (Ugly chicks are considered solvent, men are considered competing reagents)
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:-\- you're compelled to change your major because you can't practice it at HOME
and you're an ally to Whatever You Feel Compelled to Do, Don't approach. So, Eventually, Finance won.
::)- you get excited by incomprehensible chemical material, trying your best to get it. COME ON, you're the CHEMIST
:P- you're certain that colloid is a chemical substance although it doesn't carry a significant evidence of chemical change. Don't start a discussion. Save it, they won't believe you.
:-X- you're under a Verbal Destruction Effect, using equations to demonstrate an idea or take a note.
:o- you still believe that one day, you'll come up with Youth Antidote when plastic surgery all over the world.
:'(- Enjoy Your life Chemists
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...if you love solving chemical problems and has the curiosity of what composition the things around you made of.
...if you’re room walls is full of chemical symbol and formulas. LOL :P
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you wonder why it's so hard to make tetrahedrons using tinker toys.
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You buy baking soda not for baking but for experiments
you're always called 'chemist'
You prepare your bleach yourself
You always dream of preparing chemicals
your chem teacher is visibly frightened when you want to ask a question
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You call BHC
1,2,3,4,5,6-hexachlorocyclohexane
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When you see the name 'Borek' what comes first to your mind is boric acid, not a Chemical forums admin :D
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...you miss all your appointments because your watch stands still due to the NMR measurements you take every day (happens to me nearly every day...)
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-Whenever you see someone say "omg" on the internet or over text, you expect it to be followed by Br and then realize they *probably* aren't talking about the Grignard reagent.
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... When you put up wall posters of the periodic table on the walls of your room instead of sports illustrated swimsuit girls.
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Poster idea: periodic table of swimsuit girls :D
minus the 'heavy elements' of course :o
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When you have your own periodic table of life and put a mix with it.
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when you hear CBS you think about enantioselective ketone reducions and not about CBS news...
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Poster idea: periodic table of swimsuit girls :D
minus the 'heavy elements' of course :o
I think Japanese already did that one.
http://inventorspot.com/articles/element_girls_pretty_periodic_table_21561