I'll drop you an e-mail with more detailed information, but briefly:
When I started, the graduate stipend in chemistry was $21,324. They have since received a $1500 raise, so it's $22,824 now. This was done not at the behest of graduate students, the union or anything like that, but because the school was actually losing graduate students to other schools because their stipend was too low. The university cheaps out on the stipend and the students.
The GRE scores are fine. I don't remember if mine were even that good or not, but they weren't that much better if they were. The recs will make the most difference.
Being married has nothing to do with things. There are several grad students at UCB who are married.
If you move to Berkeley, bring $5000 cash. You'll need it for an apartment, a deposit, first and last month's rent, furniture, etc. It is exorbitantly expensive, and in my opinion, not worth it. Using an online calculator to compare salaries between areas, my Berkeley stipend of $21,324 at the time calculated to $7,300 back home in the midwest. $30,000 is liveable in the midwest, and actually not horrendous. $30k out here is a joke. Salaries here at at most about 7% higher than the same job in the midwest.