A Horse Race Joke: Unfaithful Wives:
Paddy and his two friends are talking at a bar.
His first friend says: "I think my wife is having an affair with the electrician. The other day I came home and found wire cutters under our bed and they weren't mine."
His second friend says: "I think my wife is having an affair with the plumber. The other day I found a wrench under the bed and it wasn't mine."
Paddy says: "I think my wife is having an affair with a horse." Both his friends look at him with utter disbelief.
"No, I'm serious. The other day I came home and found a jockey under our bed."
I'd Rather Have a Puppy
A little boy and his father are walking down the street, and they see two dogs having sex.
The little boy asks his father, Daddy, what are they doing?
The father says, Making a puppy. So they walk on and go home.
A few days later, the little boy walks in on his parents having sex. The little boy says, Daddy, what are you doing?
The father replies, Making a baby.
The little boy says, Well, flip her around! I'd rather have a puppy.