Once, I read in the April issue of some analytical journal, a collection of dumb tech support questions, delivered to brighten our day for April Fool's -- anyway, here's one that your call has reminded me of:
Caller: Your system doesn't work
Editors note:Now, when an end user has decided that the system is no longer "their's" but is now "your's" you know that have seriously lost patience, and this is going to be one tough call
Tech: What is the problem?
C: It gives numbers that are way too high.
Intriguing observation, what could it mean?
T: What is your application?
C: I've just bought a new GC to replace an older model. I analyze drug samples for (some municipality) if I get a peak above a certain level, I know I have a positive result. Your new instrument is much too high.
That doesn't sound good.
T: How do you calibrate your instrument?
C: The installing technician does that.
That really doesn't sound right
T: How often does he do that?
C: When he installed it, of course.
T: For legal reasons, I can no longer talk to you. I suggest you, or someone in you lab receive basic training in quantitative analysis.
Editor: I'm left wondering, how much money I could make as a defense expert in this municipality.