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Topic: Rate my dystopian writing?  (Read 1469 times)

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Offline _Weirdo_0.o

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Rate my dystopian writing?
« on: October 23, 2012, 04:28:19 PM »
Hi all.
I am trying my hand at creative writing and I would just like some feedback :3
Thank you! :]

Greggy jumbled across the jungle floor, searching for food. He was a very friendly monkey; cleaned his kin's fur. However, he wasn't in the mood for buggies from his beloved friends. He wanted real fruit; real bananas. After the metal monsters with white, fleshy hearts began tearing down his home, delicious foods has been harder to find. The alpha male of his clan had an alliance with another pack who lives closer to the side of the jungle that hasn't been abolished. Him, his alpha female, and their son always had fresh fruit. Greggy wondered how the people with more privileges than him, or any of his family or friends, could possibly keep it to themselves when there brethren are dying on the jungle floor.

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