> >A small piece of sodium which lived in a testube fell
> >in love with a Bunsen burner. "Bunsen! my flame! I
> >melt whenever I see you" said the sodium. The bunsen
> >burner replied :"It's just a phase you're going
> >A neutron walks into a bar; he asks the bartender: "
> >How much for a beer?" The bartender looks at him and
> >says: "For you, it's no charge".
> >Why did the white bear dissolve in water?
> >Because it was polar.
> >What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
> >A one molar solution.
> >What do dipoles say in passing?
> >Have you got a moment?
> >Why does hamburger have lower energy than steak?
> >Because it's in the ground state.
> >What do you do with a dead chemist?
> >Barium (bury them...just in case u dun get it:D)
> >What weapon can you make from the elements potassium,
> >nickel, Iodine and iron?
> >A KNIFe.
> >Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
> >They're cheaper than day rates.
> >What did one titration tell the other?
> >Let's meet at the endpoint.
> >Why are chemists great for solving problems?
> >They have all the solutions.
> >Do you know what happened to the chemist who was
> >reading a book about Helium?
> >He just couldn't put it down.
> >Why do chemistry professors like to teach about
> >Because it's basic stuff.
> >What is a cation afraid of?
> >A dogion
> >What did the match tell the flame?
> >Baby, you make me lose my head.
> >Why did the ice cube get divorced?
> >His wife said he was too cold.
> >Why did Carbon marry Hydrogen?
> >They bonded well from the minute they met.
> >What kind of ghosts haunt chemistry faculties?
> >Methylated spirits.
> >If H20 is water what is H204?
> >Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming. . .
> >A psychotic chemist came home from work and had a big
> >fight with his wife. In the heat of the moment, he
> >grabbed a bottle of some lethal chemical substance and
> >forced her to drink it while he screamed: " Die Ethyl,
> >die". The wife dropped dead on the floor and the
> >neighbors who were watching the scene, decided to call
> >the police. The policemen arrived and arrested the
> >chemist. One of them asked: Was there any reason for
> >you to kill your wife? The chemist replied: " There
> >was no chemistry between us. We never bonded well
> >although we tried.In the compound where we lived, our
> >temperaments collided. She always responded negatively
> >to my comments. Our relationship was unstable. There
> >was no possible solution. She had an attitude and I
> >was explosive. Finally, I overreacted. But now I'm
> >glad it's over. I'm in equilibrium again.I will feel
> >free even behind the irons."
> >A group of organic molecules were having a party, when
> >a group of robbers broke into the room and stole all
> >of the guests joules.A tall, strong man, armed with a
> >machine gun came into the room and killed the robbers
> >one by one.The guests were very grateful to this man,
> >and they wanted to know who he was. He replied: My
> >name is BOND, Covalent Bond.
> >According to a chemist, why is the world so diverse?
> >Because it's made up of alkynes of people