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Can I get a Ph.D in Chemistry despite my mental illness?

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Mitch:
@ALonelyMacromolecule as you work through the books you ordered feel free to ask for help, and we will provide you with what support we can in your studies.

ALonelyMacromolecule:

--- Quote from: Borek on May 03, 2018, 04:21:10 AM ---I don't think anyone will be able to help you with a single "yes" or "no" answer.

For sure you won't know till you try.

--- End quote ---
Sir, neither am I expecting any sort of "yes or no" answer. I wanted to explain my situation (i.e., how a childhood abuse victim can possibly get a doctorate in chemistry) and get some feedback around it. As you are professional chemists, you do know a lot of more than me.

I am trying but there are a lot of obstacles. Some are

-- How was I supposed to successfully socialize with my peers.
-- How was I supposed to get good grades
-- How was I supposed to go from college to home and from home to college.
-- How was I supposed to drive from college to home / vice versa if my cognition is less than ideal. It'd be like a life-death situation there. Every day.

The last point worries me so much. I cannot expect my dad to pick up and drop me every single day without being called a joke independently of it.


--- Quote from: Mitch on May 03, 2018, 07:29:12 AM ---@ALonelyMacromolecule. You could become a PhD chemist if you found the right drug to manage your mental disorders. But as you described it now, you couldn't.

If you can't remember the last thing you did in a lab, your are a safety risk to others around you. If you have social anxiety, you will not be able to collaborate with other chemists, report your findings to the scientific community, or navigate through the social aspects of being a part of the chemistry community.

I'm happy you have a goal in life, but you need to treat your mental disorders first, before going down a path that isn't a good fit for your current mental state.

--- End quote ---
Thank you for your opinion.

I don't think (as per as my limited knowledge), drugs alone will eliminate everything. You need a good life style, physiotherapy/psychotherapy, a good mindset and essentially a good environment around you to successfully recover from schizophrenia. They all sound like luxury to me. I am trying to convince my parents to let me live in my aunt's house but they won't allow for God knows reason.

I know, as I am going through all of this, I had a massive doubt that I should be able to get a doctorate. It's not that I am NOT forgetful (I am) but since I passed my eleventh class I think there's hope. I am doing average, and if my cognition wasn't destroyed, I could have actually gotten a doctorate. I do not have social anxiety (my opinion) but have GAD instead which encompasses all aspects of life.

You know what? I could have gotten a job as an assistant professor in a reputed research center and have had lived a pretty normal and socially exciting life if it weren't like this. It's not that, please understand, my parents would accept anything less of a white-collar profession. It's not that I am not interested in being a white-collar professional (especially in the healthcare field) but I am mostly doing it to make the world a better place and only partly so I could get benefit as a scientist/doctor. It's not that I want big money, prestige (I do want to be viewed as respected by my colleagues though) or celebrity-like fame, it is the sheer possibility of the scientific revolution I could have helped to be become a reality, that's actually helping people live better lives. Living like Bill Gates isn't my dream. But giving something to the world, especially to the chronically ill (I know how it is like to be), is my dream.

ALonelyMacromolecule:
Also, in which field should I do my M.Sc in if I am interested in discovering drugs?

As far as I know, there are three options

-- Organic Chemistry
-- Biochemistry
-- Medicinal chemistry.

Mitch:
Medicinal would be the best.

Traumatic Acid:
I see this post is quite old, I hope you still see this.

Personally the fact that you are so determined to study science is a fantastic sign and a brilliant start. I am guessing that your parents and other people constantly bullying you about your mental afflictions has destroyed a lot of your self confidence and your personal image. I have no idea what your parents were thinking when they decided to do that to you, how is that meant to help? I could continue but I'm sure you already aware of all those things.

But quite frankly you are determined enough so heck just give it a go! I too am interested in chemistry and would like to pursue  Pharmacology. I was prescribed heavy drugs from a very early age (8-9) which kept me from socialising and has made me emotionally numb (I'm now 20 and still on them). My maths is also terrible, and thus far in my second year of University Chemistry that hasn't been as big as a problem as it may seem.

I think university is a good option for you, you'll have to do many years before your PHD, so you don't have to decide right now if it's right for you. You will have time to figure all that out when you are at a University. I suggest just enrolling in a University and see where life takes you from there. Universities are a place of open mindedness, free thinking and knowledge. I find it unlikely that you will be bullied there, and if the University is far away it means you won't have your parents over your shoulder telling you everything you do is wrong which will probably be a pretty big help.

Universities always offer help and support to their students.

In summation, I believe uni is a good option for someone with your determination, I see you are determined also to not let your afflictions get in the way (which is great). You don't have to decide if a PHD is right for you, in fact I'm more than certain that is an impossible decision to make until you actually get into a uni. Hell I'm in my second year and am still unsure of what I am going to do. Also name for me one great scientist who wasn't at least a little bit loopy ;)

Best of luck!

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